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Today has been tough. Im not haveing a good day, just tired of being alone. Im a single father of 1. His name is brayden and hes 3 years old. ever since his mom left me I cant seem to find anyone that will have anything to do wih me because of my son. My son is my life and I tell everyone that will not change.So what do you think the problem is? someone give me some ideas. thanks

It seems like the stress of the holidays bring out the worse in people. I know growing up that it affected our family every so often emotions exploded. Even I went through a breakup with a boyfriend in Dec. Something about holidays the tension to do too much or expectations just put a damper on the holidays. In these days it hurts too much when it is hard whether single or with someone to make ends meet. It is really a shame we let holidays affect our mood or the moods of those in relationships. Just thinking back on past holidays for sure and seeing the stress of it on this site with expectations people have about the holidays.

Hello all..I am not sure if I can help but I am willing to try and also know that I believe there are always two sides to every story in regards to relationshiops so I will not be judgemental, nor will I assume you are in the right..for we all know that we are not perfect and there are some of us that would rather blame others then take the blame themselves..so what you will get from me is an open, honest and clear answer from one who expects the same from others...so don't blame others for your mistake nor blame someone if your not willing to take the blame for your actions.

The Polyamory Society offers a host of resources to those involved in a polyamorous relationship. Within the site are members pages, resource pages to those with question, as well as pages for those actively seeking out others who are in poly relationships.

as a domestic violence survivor,I speak out from my history of abuse,I was married to a very violent man,for 13 years,I know ,why did I stay? hwat took me so long to leave? etc...

but,the main thing is I am here today,because i finally,woke up,and got out. are pfas enough? hell no,how many woman die,with an order of protection in her pocket?

in all of those years,calling the police,he never once was arrested,the one time he was,no jail time,at all.that shows these cowards ,that they can get away with it,over and over again.

I will never,ever let someone control me again,hurt me,in any way,abuse me mentally or physically...I am worth more than that,and I deserve better than that.

just because your married,does not mean,your husband/or wife owns you..you are your own person. I do,also think,if you stay in that situation,it is considered child abuse...children,should never see that,break the cycle now,people.

if you or someone you know,is being abused,dont look the other way,tomorrow ,will be to late....respect yourself,love yourself,first...just thinking out loud here....

"Let Love be your greatest aim(1Corinthians 14:1)."

To gain an insight into how emotionally healthy we are, all we need to do is look at the people we attracted to.  The reality is that we are as healthy as our closest relationships.  The healthier we become the healthier the people we will be attracted to and they to us.  To be healthy and fully alive, we need atleast one person with whom we can relate and be connected to; that is, be totally open and honest with.  Without this, instead of relating heart to heart, we relate head to head and ricochet off one another like marbles, and live together alone apart---soul starved and lonely.

Dr. Bernard Steinzer believes that, "The person who feels completely alone ad has lost hope of a relationship will become a patient in the wards of a mental hospital or bring their life to an end through suicide."

If we are single, while it may not be the most desirable for many, we can live healthy without being married, but we cannot live healthy without one or more loving, caring, close relationships.  The more we understand the great need of the human heart for loving relationships, the more we can appreciate why God said, "Let Love be our greatest aim".

                                   SUGGESTED PRAYER:

"Dear God, please give to me at least one truly loving relationship, and please give to me a greater love for you--my dearest frifend of all.  Gratefully in Jesus Name".  AMEN.

Today I feel trapped a little. I am in a relationship and unhappy due to many reasons. We are both on the lease and neither of us working and stressed to due it. If it came down to it she has a place to go but if I left I would end up homeless and that is a scary feeling knowing you have really no one out there. It makes you look back and wonder how you gotten to where you are and how you didnt see it coming. I didnt lose friends due to screwing them over or anything like that but I am a home body and just lost touch with them throught out time. 5 yrs ago or so this wouldnt have happened. I just want to start over somewhere brand new and when I get back on track meet the person I will marry. I am yet to find her. First I need to fix my immediate situation and get on track. No woman wants a broke man  If anyone who has been in a similar situation or has any good ideas I am all ears. Or if any lovely lady wants to move me out of here I will do that as well lol.. jk.

1. The first secret? the power of THOUGHT.
   Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires.
   
   
2. The second secret? the power of GIVING.
   If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship, ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.
   
   
3. The third secret? the power of RESPECT.
   You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"
   
   
4. The fourth secret? the power of FRIENDSHIP.
   To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.
   
   
5. The fifth secret? the power of LETTING GO.
   If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours; if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."
   
   
6. The sixth secret? the power of COMMUNICATION.
   When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them! If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and ... why are you waiting?
   
   
7. The seventh secret? the power of COMMITMENT.
   If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.
   
   
8. The eighth secret? the power of PASSION.
   Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.
   
   
9. The ninth secret? the power of TOUCH.
   Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.
   
   
10. The tenth secret? the power of TRUST.
    Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it, one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.
    

[ Source: "Take Flight"

Want to know how to keep the romance alive? Want to know the 3 vital things you need to make your relationship work? Ever wonder what your spouse is thinking?

Whoknew and I have teamed up to create a new space to answer these questions and more. Keep checking back for the latest updates and information on how to work at making your relationship work! 

Have you hugged your spouse today? 

Recently we have been seeing more and more divorce. I started to wonder why. I just don’t understand it. Do married couples actually try to work on their marriage or is it just getting so much easier to walk out? It sounds like we just gave up before even trying hard to make it work. Marriage takes work from both spouses.

The big question is:  what are we teaching our kids? The lesson is: you don’t have to try to make it work, it's really easy just walk out of your marriage. If you don’t work hard to make your marriage work, you’re not going to try hard to achieve any other goals. Because quitting before you’re started is so much easier. It's a proven fact most kids that don't come from broken homes do so much better for most part than kids that come from broken homes.  Just remember the only winner in divorce is the attorney who is smiling all the way to the bank!

 I am not saying stay in abusive marriage. No way! But for most part most marriages can be saved. Like my good friend said, even though the grass may look greener on the other side, you still have to maintain the grass to keep it looking that way.

 Hug your spouse today, and have a great day.

i have several things going on in my life right now and stay kinda confused any advice on the threee below please send thank you for your inout

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Week 2:

(I was emailed by someone that tried to help me empathize a little more with her situation and a little less mine.  This is how I responded.)

Yea, I agree... I'm getting better at dealing with it.  I just needed to know that she wasn't drunk and hoping for some action... I know it sounds horrible that I would have to ask a question like that but I feel it was essential for me to be able to help her the best that I can.  As of now (and I believe her), she felt safe with the stranger and her friend... they were both drugged, but her friend more (her friend drank most of the beer)... who ended up leaving and wondering the street.  She remembers most of it now and it was physical and she froze.  It's awful but I think we're making some headway, and fast.  I have been with her almost all day and night for the last week and we're taking some steps toward a normal week this week.  We are mostly dealing with random high levels of stress from both of us that kind of pop out of nowhere... mine because I'm angry at this guy, that this had to happen to her, and that I wasn't there to give it my all to protect her, hers are for a lot of reasons, but mostly because she wants a lot of things to just go away.  I get nervous about that, but I think I'll just have to deal with it... This should be a bumpy ride, but I've explained to her that I'm 100% committed and that she doesn't have to talk about anything anymore if she doesn't want to.  I did ask her to visit a psychatrist sometime next month when she feels up for it... and after two visits if she doesn't want to, just stop.  Do you think we're doing alright??? Any red flags???

Week 3.

   Well, week 3 seems to be going pretty well so far.  Fights and frustration seem to be giving away to understanding and some mutual respect for both of us moving forward.  There are plenty of things that I am concerned about, but at the moment I only feel comfortable voicing them with people on the internet.  I think I'll run this like a doctor visit and they ask you what's wrong... or more importantly how you've been feeling...

  I've been reading a lot about PTSD (post traumatic stress syn), and RTS (rape trauma syndrome) to find out that my GF is definitely lost somewhere in there.  I'm unsure as to discuss the symptoms (educational and hopefully comforting), problems that can arise from these trauma's going unresolved, and just general thoughts on other preductive things that can happen from this event.  I will press her again this week to go see a psychiatrist but I can definitely see it going badly (doesn't mean I won't do it!).  I lately have been really interested in her discussing her trauma with a professional because I think that she needs someone else other than me to speak to.  I get the feeling that there is a large amount of guilt in her still and I know that I can't make thatgo away.  The nicer I am, the more concerned I am... the more guilt she will probably feel.  She probably even feels that she did this to me.  Either way, I think an objective authority will be helpful for her to really release any of those deep emotions (anger, guilt, hate) before they evolve into something much more destructive.

  HIV.  She's on her 3rd week of PEP pills to help prevent the virus HIV from attacking and multiplying within her T-cells.  It seems as though there are good odds of prevention.  Unfortunately she was at high-risk, but still... odds are in her favor.  Unfortunately, we will not be able to have unsafe sex again until her last 6 month checkup.  Not so exciting... but, so far, sex is probably one of the last things we need to be thinking about.  Which brings me to my final topic.

  Sex.  We've already had sex four times (obviously with condoms and I'm well aware of the risk), but I'm getting the feeling that this will be one hell of a slippery slope for us for a LONG TIME.  Here's a little background, we have had a lot of sex in the past and neither one of us would ever been interested in changing that.  I know that she and I were very much on the same page when it comes to sex (sadly our relationship was probably 25-35% sexual connection, though we were working on that), but obviously now, this will (or may not) change.  She shows a lot of interest in her life to going back to normal and that's what I allowed her.  BUT I'm starting to feel like sex will be completely different and that she was just hoping that it wouldn't by us having sex those four times.  Also, I should say that I haven't pressured her in any way other than that she is well aware that my ex had sex issues with me and that I didn't like that.  But there is also a world of difference between sex once a week at age 28, and sex 2-3 times a day!  I don't mind at all if she wants to wait 6 months... well, maybe a little, but I'll DEAL WITH IT.  I just have no control over her head... and just hope for the best.  and if there's anything I hate... it's hope.

  I could use some thoughts about what I should do if anything about sex.  Does anyone have experience with this situation?  Are there things I have already done wrong?  Are there things that I should watch out for?  I'm actually really nervous that she'll leave me for someone else that won't know that she was raped and can live a normal life again (well, minus the huge white elephant of denial in the room) but you get the idea... Is that even realistic or am I going a little crazy too???

  Thanks anyone.

Hi all , I am really into zodiac signs. I have allways picked up the magazines at the stores. The funny thing about it, is my best friend enjoyed zodiac signs too. I talked to her about differnt signs and we  noticed we both knew about Aries or Taurus. After time passed with us sharing different stories, I became really good at reading people. The part people need to realize, is you can't just say I am a libra and it's just that cut and dry. There are many different factors to knowing information about someone's sign. A person can be a full Libra or he could be on the cusp. I find it interesting to give a person relationship advice about the sign a new friend had met. People would call me and ask "How is this Leo going to work with me being a Virgo? THe next thing I knew an hour passed discussing how or if the relationship would work. If anyone wants to chat about signs together let me know. I have phrases about the "Top Six", which means money wise they are the go getters of the signs. Then there are the most romantic, jelious, relationship material, to many other topics. Send me a post and we can talk about it, looking forword to writing ya

Well... I need some help,

   I'm knew to the whole dealing with rape thing and am finding it, so far, to be quite unbearable.  I'll start with some background.  One week ago, my girlfriend, while on vacation, was out having drinks with her friend (possibly a lot because she definitely is somewhat a lush, but she says she doesn't think so), having a good time, and they met this guy that says he was gay at one of the nice bars they were at.  Unfortunately, this is where my story gets confusing... and it still is for me.  I am missing as many details as she may or may not be...  So, they're having fun, close the bar, then take a taxi... (he shares it with them... I guess because it's on the way but I don't know and have trouble asking her about it).  Then, they end up going up for a drink, maybe to hangout and check his place out or something... I still don't know... So, they're both there, and he is trying to make sure they at least have one drink before they leave.  More than likely, he drugged them, and they were drunk, and her friend ended up wandering the streets getting picked up by a cop.  She on the other hand got the worst of it.  I don't know if she gave in, was drugged, or... though I doubt, wanted this...  They both ended up at the hospital, my GF ended up at the police station then getting tested and all the drugs she needed.  She did everything right after the fact, but obviously... I'm having trouble with the story. 

I need help.

I have read TOO much about all of the possibilities and have imagined EVERY scenario, I really want to be 100% there for her, but I'm still can't shake not knowing... Any help please?  I don't want to end things with her in any way but if I ask about any details I am in for a night of doubt, and coldness toward everything we have together.  I feel like I need to just accept it as is... but am obviously not doing well with that.  I'm the kind of guy that wants to fill in the blanks so that I can solve this, file it away, understand what happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.  But, what's worked for me in the past is not working now.  Should I ask her?  of should I somehow drop it and be everything she wants me to be... because we're probably moving in together, in a different city in a month and committing ourselves to each other for at least three years.  I am still mostly supportive and helpful, and I'd say 3/4 of the time happy and playful.  I can't even imagine enjoying alcohol, and I'm having trouble enjoying myself around people that aren't the closest of friends.  I realize I'm not dealing with this the best which is why I'm seeking help online at the moment, but I could really use some advice from people that have either been in this situation, either raped themselves and had a boyfriend or been a boyfriend of a successful relationship after the rape.  My guess is that most relationships don't make it through stuff like this because of bad reactions like mine or my inability to be normal and unprotective after.  She loves being free to go and be wherever and I always was good with that and trusting and now I'm not even close!  Ugh, someone just talk to me I guess...